Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Decisions: Career

12:56 PM Posted by Sharon , ,

The truth is, I really didn't know what I was doing. It felt wrong; I felt dishonest. This is one of those points in your life where you are faced with one of those defining decisions. Who are you, exactly? I chose to leave a job that I performed exceptionally well and felt deep satisfaction. It had nothing to do with the job itself. I knew I had clear choices. Moving from Chinatown in grade school to WASPy suburbia in the 90s meant I was one of three Asian kids in school. (My little brother was the other one). There I stood as an easy target for kids to direct their racist remarks until we grew up and moved onto middle school together and then high school. I chose to be quiet. It was easier that way. I ignored the comments in the face of the bullies, but inside, I recycled their words and their hate. It was hell. Eventually, I found my courage to find a voice. People only pick on the weak. I've been there and experienced that; I am a fighter. I'd rather you call me a bitch for voicing something you disagree with than for my silence. And there I found myself a few months ago. Do I stay quiet and keep the job I adore with a steady pay cheque? Or do I say what I feel and risk the wrath of administration? The fallout was much worse than what I could have predicted. Still, my heart knew I made the right decision. These were not the people I wanted to build my career with. These were not the sort of people to inspire me; to teach me; to help me. So here I am, cast out upon the world again without a plan or agenda. Reckless, some may call me. Idealistic, I call myself at times. Still, am I too romantic to entertain the idea that the universe will somehow take care of me? I may be unemployed soon without any prospects as to the next stage of my careers, but I am happy that I chose to not stay quiet and "suck it up." Unethical things were happening, laws were broken, and I want no part of that.

Friday, August 01, 2014

Ecuador: Day 6, 7, 8

2:28 PM Posted by Sharon , , ,

DAY 6 

Saying goodbye to the jungle, we started our trek up to higher altitude and cooler temperatures. This was a relief since humidity is my enemy. To get more exercise in, we ended up in La Punta Ahuano  to see El Paillon del Diable or "The Devil's Cauldron". It's a waterfall and when viewed from the front base, you're supposed to see the devil's face. Originally, I thought it got its name from the insane gush of water and jagged rocks at the bottom of a nearly enclosed pit.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Checking in: 6 months in Chinese New Years Resolutions

11:02 AM Posted by Sharon , ,

At the end of January, I wrote about my Chinese New Year Resolutions and then I checked in on myself about 3 months in. This is my latest check in roughly the halfway mark. I'm keeping it simple and to the point:

#1- Drink More Water
Keeping it up and the results are starting to show up on the scale. 5 pounds gone, without any major changes to diet or exercise, just from water drinking on the daily.

#2- Read One Classic
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse is currently blowing my mind. I love it when you read the right book at the right moment in your life.

#3- See One New Country
Ecuador.

#4- Write Weekly
I think I one up'ed this resolution, but I'll post about this once it actually happens.

#5- Stay Happy, Stress Less
And for the biggest piece of news...I'm leaving my secure, sit-all-day-at-a-computer-job! It was a toxic work environment, despite the actual work itself, which I enjoyed immensely. Taking a cold hard look at how I was spending my work hours, the times that I was truly enjoying myself were not enough to overshadow the times I wished to be somewhere else doing anything else.

I literally do not know where I'll be a few months from now, but I feel free and happy.



Thursday, July 24, 2014

Reminders for myself

8:32 PM Posted by Sharon




After an insanely stressful week at work. I am finding myself closer to the end of the tunnel. THANK GOODNESS!



Friday, July 18, 2014

Ecuador: Day 4 & 5

12:32 PM Posted by Sharon , , ,


One of the main reasons for the trip was a visit to the Amazon.  Although Brazil is famous for it, we knew our budget would not allow for a Brazilian vacation during a World Cup year. So we looked at a map and looked to see where else we would be able to affordably see the Amazon. 

I loved it and I hated it. I hated myself for loving parts of it. It's complicated to wrestle with the images of extreme poverty and my own participation in the middle of all of it. What could I do? (I'll explain later.)

Monday, July 14, 2014

Ecuador: Day 2 & 3

1:04 PM Posted by Sharon , , ,

Back into the blogging swing of things, I plan on posting the rest of my Ecuador entries before the month is out!

Day 2 and 3 of my Ecuador adventure saw us jumping from city to city. Waking up early in Quito, we checked out the colonial section of Old Town, a UNESCO heritage site. We whizzed through Independence Plaza, the Cathedral, Presidential Palace and the Archbishop’s Palace

Monday, June 30, 2014

Sink or Swim

6:05 PM Posted by Sharon
via
How on earth is it possible to do it all?

I am wise enough to know that when I'm unhappy, I'm the one responsible. Either change myself or change the circumstance. Doing nothing will guarantee that nothing will happen. Change is good.

After a week off from the regular working week, I will be back into the routine of things. I'm so ever thankful for this break and so ever grateful for the wonderful people around me. Now, I can go and face the mountain of drama ahead of me. With so much pressure and things to do, there are no other options but to swim rather than sink. Things will turn out or they won't. Either way, I'm going to be alright. I'm always alright.

The summer ahead seems to be a busy one, with one battle after another. Things are going to be fine. Things are always fine.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Pause for Peonies

9:46 PM Posted by Sharon , ,

After an unusually stressful week, I came home to some beautiful blooming peonies. My photos do it absolutely no justice. After hiding inside the large buds, it opened all at once. Petals upon petals just burst forth filling my front porch with pink. They are such a beautiful sight to behold. It's enough for me to stop before I leave for work in the morning and again when I return home. 

It's these little moments of pause that I am grateful for lately; these little bits of thoughts filled with admiration and nothing else. 

Drama at work has made the morning and afternoon portions of my day a bit of a drag. Looking after my house and then my mother's house is proving to be coming at the worst time. Have my life always been this hectic? 

I must thank past me for intuitively knowing that I need a bit of time off. Somehow the week long pause I have for next week is exactly what I need. Even though I don't think I'll be able to afford the time to pause, it will be just enough time for me to catch up and find my breath.